PROSPECT IN CHAOS AFTER LABOUR PARTY SECURES MAJORITY OVER ASB

As the dust settled from Prospect’s Congressional elections, a shocking result was found: the Prospect-sponsored Associated Student Body had not received enough seats in Prospect’s Congress, and to everyone’s surprise, Prospect’s Labour Party for the first time in its history, had secured a majority in the 100 seat house. The victory was celebrated with mad crowds stampeding throughout the halls and celebrations with what looked to be sparkling apple juice as the election results were revealed.

The Prospect Labour Party runs on principles of returning student government back to the people and reverting back to the old system of rule. An old system that was broken up into multiple groups, unlike the current system, where a select few get to rule. 

The party also wants to bring the old milkshake machine back, give students a $12 an hour starting salary for going to school and bring something called “Spaghetti Fridays” to the cafeteria.

However, shortly after the results were revealed, fears within the student body started to spread. Concerns over forced-dissolvement of the newly elected student government and reinstatement of the former persisted.       

Evidence of removal of the student Congress was sent in an email by administration within Prospect stating to all members saying their club would be disbanded due to unforeseen circumstances.

But for Majority Leader elect William Reid, this attempted coup by Prospect was not unforeseen.

“For years Prospect’s “Deep-state” has attempted to stifle our party from winning elections by allowing the kangaroo congress of ASB to cling to power, and the Buck has to stop here.” Reid said,

“We must stand for our principles and not crumble to the state. Because if we do what do we stand for? They need to listen to the student body who elected us and give them what they want. Give us Spaghetti Fridays or give us death!”

For now though, unless in the event of a coup, the new majority party will be sworn in on April 3rd to begin a new era of government at Prospect. Protests are also being proposed for the first in the commons to fight against the tyranny of the ASB.