In case you couldn’t tell by literally everyone on the planet’s Instagram stories yesterday, Spotify Wrapped is finally out.
It’s about time, too. I mean, god forbid I wait any longer than two days more than the typical date. Imagine the state of the world if that had happened. Or just TikTok comments, I guess, but really what’s the difference?
Regardless of your patience, current Instagram story or how chronically online you are, I think Spotify Wrapped is an inarguably cool idea (disregarding all the AI garbage this year… ew), even from the company’s perspective. I mean, they already have all of our statistics just sitting around, so why not add some cool visuals to display them every year and maybe, just maybe with their extra time, create a national online phenomenon?
And when I say phenomenon, I really mean it. You’re probably thinking “yeah, no duh Xander, I just saw like 17 of them on Instagram today from people I don’t even know,” but it gets SO much worse than that.
Spotify Wrapped is, at its core, just a bunch of stats about your Spotify usage throughout the year. Again, no duh. So tell me why there are people who are actively listening to artists that they don’t usually listen to just to bump them up higher on their list of most listened to artists? Like… what?
Look, as someone who ironically only used to listen to video game music (WOW that’s going to tarnish my credibility here), I totally get what it’s like to be ashamed of your music taste. But you know what? You shouldn’t care!
I’m not going to hit you with the cheesy “don’t be ashamed of your interests!” angle because lowkey, some of the stuff y’all listen to deserves to be shamed— mostly by people like me with disgustingly basic taste. But I do have another solution that may seem kinda drastic to some of you, so just buckle up.
DON’T POST IT!!
Even if your playlist consists of the most steaming, hot garbage and guilty pleasures imaginable, why would you have Spotify playing “socially acceptable” music for literal hours just for a chance to have your list be different?
If you want to be a fake fan for an artist so your whole 500 Instagram followers think you listen to Frank Ocean, Lana Del Ray and whoever else you think will make others think highly of you, whatever. I don’t care, and clearly there’s nothing I can do about it. But why stop there?
I mean, with a fraction of the time you’re spending on Spotify you could just be Photoshopping the screenshot of your top artists to add the ones you actually want on there.
Too difficult? Well, it’s not like it’s hard to be a poser, even beyond Spotify Wrapped. Put a socially acceptable artist’s song on your Instagram notes or wear their merch in an Instagram post! Don’t wanna buy merch for an artist you don’t even like? Then post a screenshot of said artist’s merch shop on your story with a caption like “wish I could afford this :(“ or something! Anything but faking the hours!
Okay, if you think I’m completely obsessed and enraged with – I don’t know, whatever is it I’m even talking about at this point – I can’t blame you. So why do I care so much? Why does it matter?
Well, I’d say it’s more of a “I don’t care so much to the point that the people who do care so much piss me off” type deal. Like I said, I really like Spotify Wrapped. I think it’s a really fun thing to look over through each passing year, but I couldn’t imagine being so obsessed with what others think about my music taste.
If you want to post it, cool, whatever. If you don’t want to post it but still pretend you listen to good artists, go ahead. Hell, even if you want to Photoshop your screenshot to make it look like you’ve been listening to other artists, go nuts. But going out of your way to spend hours on Spotify just for the numbers? Even if it’s just turned on in the background, you’re only contributing to the artificialness of social media.
Are you doing that with Photoshop? Sure, but at least it’s a quick process and you’re admitting to yourself that you’re a scumbag. By faking hours you’re actively spending your time to make yourself less unique. Very not cool.
So what’s the TL;DR here? Is there anything I actually encourage and won’t complain about?
Well, I think posting your Spotify Wrapped without intentionally altering the hours at all is an obvious step. Or, if you want to be boring like me, just don’t post it. It’s really not that hard.
Music taste can tell you so much about someone, and I think posting a Spotify Wrapped is a great way to tell the world how much of a music nerd you are.
Does the world care? It’s an Instagram story, so definitely not. So why lie about it?
Listen to what you like and post it if you want. Do you really think someone’s going to hate you if you like a certain artist? No way (well, unless you’re my mom when I’m listening to Kanye, but separating art from the artist is a story for another day)!
As someone who would rather be waterboarded than listen to another Charli XCX song, do you really think I’m going to hold it against you that she’s your number one artist?
Well… maybe. But that’s my problem, not yours!
