While this year’s Oscars may have appeared boring compared to last year’s, that’s only because of the movies that were nominated. The reason they did so much of that big and brash stuff last year was because they had popular movies like Barbie and Oppenheimer present. These Oscars wouldn’t be caught dead doing something like that for Conclave or Anora. They just aren’t blockbusters, so why turn the ceremony into something fitting of such movies?

So yes, comparing these Academy Awards to the ones that came before them would be pretty unfair. Barbenheimer’s frenzy did change the landscape of the Oscars last year, and now the latest ceremony is simply a reminder to the public that the Academy does not care what movies people watch.

For his first time ever, Conan O’Brien was the host of the Academy Awards. I genuinely cannot believe that we as a species have not hired him for every one since he became famous, because he was really good. It was probably better than both of Jimmy Kimmel’s last two gigs combined. (Then again, that is not a very high bar.)

However, Conan’s opening monologue was 18 minutes long. That was longer than Kimmell’s past two spiels combined. As much as I love hearing Conan talk, hearing it for almost twenty minutes is a little silly, especially when he’s talking all about how he’s “not going to waste time.”

That reminds me: his little “I Won’t Waste Time” musical number was okay. He very clearly is not a singer, nor a dancer, because his breath control was… eh. He was moving, though, so I can’t blame him, because I couldn’t do it either. I will admit that the song did get a chuckle or two out of me because it was oh-so-very stupid and ironic. It’s just — 18 minutes, man. Jeez.

And once he found his footing, Conan’s later gags got solid. Joking about Karla Sofía Gascón’s tweet tirade while she was in the room was legendary. The Kendrick Lamar reference was hilarious as well. He stopped overstaying his welcome after the beginning and just allowed things to flow without much interference from him. Take notes, Kimmell.

All the musical performances were good enough, but felt lackluster compared to some of the “irrelevant” (by which I mean “not nominated in Best Original Song”) acts in previous years. 

Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande’s medley was great, but it makes me wonder if they’re just going to do the same thing next year when Wicked: For Good is nominated for a bunch of awards. Another Wicked medley? Or is this the peak of the hype? They’re not seriously going to perform “For Good” at the Oscars even though it physically cannot be nominated, right? Right…?

The Quincy Jones tribute was, simply and succinctly: fun. Though the last thing I expected to hear at the Oscars was a song from The Wiz, it was a welcome surprise, and one desperately needed after whatever the heck that “In Memoriam” song was. I know that the song is about death and it’s a classic funeral piece, but it did not fit the vibe at all! It just didn’t!

What was easily the most detrimental musical aspect of this ceremony to me, though, was the orchestra. They didn’t play poorly or anything, and nobody messed up except the producers cueing the conductor on when to conduct, but the mere presence of them during the acceptance speeches made me want to rip my hair out.

They. Cut. People. Off. So. Early. I’ve never seen an Oscars ceremony so allergic to speeches! It got so bad that nearly every single winner, when they went up on stage and received their trophies, joked about how they were going to get off in a certain number of seconds. And then, guess what? They did!

I’ll be keeping track of how many minutes each winner got into their speech before they were cut off by the orchestra. It was out of control at this ceremony and it grinds my gears to no end, so I will be calling them out on it. This is what you get for messing with the speeches! You mess with the bull, you get the Lucas!

Lol Crawley is a camera whiz in the making. The shots in The Brutalist are so fantastic that I shuffled through a couple of them to use as my phone’s lock screen during the weeks after I saw it. Pause this movie at any moment and the resulting frame will be beautiful enough to hang on your wall. Same deal for Nickel Boys, which is arguably just as good, if not better, at applying the “picture speaks a thousand words” motto to its work — but it was not nominated.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT CRAWLEY OFF? No, but he did speed through his speech a bit and appeared visibly unprepared as he said “Seems my time’s already started!” Seems like the intimidation from them cutting people off all night got to him.

Can you really blame the Academy for this? Well, yeah, because they voted for it — but they were right on this one, I swear!

Although my personal pick was The Brutalist because of the way it expertly used its production design in tandem with the cinematography, it was clear to me that Wicked had the more impressive builds. These sets are sprawling and massive, and that gets people’s attention more than a green screen in an MCU studio ever could. Not discrediting VFX artists, of course, but practical location filming looks so much nicer than computer generated images 99.9% of the time. And them’s straight facts. Just take a look at Wicked — see how nice its sets look and tell me I’m not right!

You know that all nine million tulips in that opening scene were real planted tulips? Cray to the Zee.

Adapted Screenplay was one of the most predictable awards of the whole night. I was half-expecting Nickel Boys to pull off the biggest shocker in Oscar history, but everybody and their mother knew that Conclave was simply too strong. And it makes sense as to why, too! You really couldn’t adapt Robert Harris’ source novel into a script any better than Peter Straughan did, even if I’m sure many of you reading this could be very talented screenwriters in the making. Who knows? Maybe you could make the next Conclave! Follow your dreams, kids!

I just knew that they were going to play that “It is a war” clip for this movie when showing the nominee reels. There’s always that one excellent line that sticks with audiences the most after a movie, and Stanley Tucci’s delivery on that one in particular clearly resonated with the populace — myself included. Glad I got to see it again.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT STRAUGHAN OFF? Nope. I swear it starts to happen soon, guys. It did indeed happen a lot in this ceremony.

I was very worried that this award could have gone to the now-basically-guaranteed second-placer: A Complete Unknown. I now thank God every day that the Sound award did not once again go to a boring, basic, uninventive musical biopic. Nooo, I’m not referencing the 4-time Oscar winner Bohemian Rhapsody…not at all.

Those sci-fi boom-booms are loud and proud in Dune: Part Two, and I love ‘em! I’m not even a big fan of the Dune franchise, yet even I can recognise some innovative sound design when I hear it. You could turn off everything visual in Dune: Part Two and just piece together the entire movie because of how immersive the audio is, and that takes some skill.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT GARETH JOHN, RICHARD KING, RON BARTLETT AND DOUG HEMPHILL OFF? Yes, they sure did! Right as King begins to accept his statuette, the orchestra comes in on full blast, the producers cut his mic, and the audience began to boo as they were ushered offstage. The Oscars didn’t even publish the speech on their YouTube channel! What a disgrace by the Academy, and the audience knew it!

Who’da thunk that the one short film I ended up watching this year would be the one to win big at the Oscars? That never happens! I should have just gone with the number four ranked film on GoldDerby, hm?

These short categories at the Oscars are always a stain on my ballot because they are literally impossible to get right every single year without fail. My brother and sister got it right by just guessing, and I’m sitting next to them losing the ballot competition at my own Oscars watch party! What is happening to me?!

I am half-positive that this won partly because it is by far the easiest short to find online. I combed the internet for those other short films when the Oscar shortlist came out two months ago and could not find any of them except for this one, and this one ended up being the Best Animated Short Film of the year. I’m sure voters had the same issue, which is why they all probably just said, “Well, this is the only one I’ve been able to see, so I might as well vote for it.” I’m not complaining, though.

But yeah, a fantastic short film and one of the best winners we’ve had in this category in years. Love to see the Academy Awards giving so many awards to Middle Eastern projects this year, because the topics covered in them desperately need the Oscars to access that mainstream attention they’re given there. In The Shadow of the Cypress is The Zone of Interest reborn in short form.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT HOSSEIN MOLAYEMI AND SHRIN SOHANI OFF? No, although they had every opportunity to, since they were seriously dilly-dallying up on that stage. I am shocked they didn’t cut these people off here, yet I am pleasantly surprised.

Refer to the previous category where I say these shorts are “impossible to get right every single year without fail.” This applies to Live Action Short Film as well, even though I actually got it right last year. But 2024 was a special situation, because we had the very-well-respected-by-the-Academy Wes Anderson nominated, and that was the easiest cakewalk any filmmaker has ever had to an Academy Award in the history of the show.

I predicted The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent along with just about everybody else on GoldDerby and we all got it wrong, which just goes to show you how pointless even trying to predict this category is. Every person tied for first place on GoldDerby’s multi-thousand person Oscar ballot ranking right now has two wrong answers on their ballots. Can you guess which ones they got wrong? The shorts! Shocking, I know!

Anywho, I did not get around to seeing this one (because the short films are the hardest nominees to access online), so I cannot, in good faith, comment on it! Congratulations to the winners.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT WARMERDAM AND TRENT OFF? Yes! 42 seconds into their speech, as Warmerdam was saying “I love you” to the mononymous Trent, the soft piano came back to boot them off the stage during their tender moment. Really enforcing the 45 second rule, guys! No wonder they joked about it when they came onstage!

It was going to be Conclave. It didn’t make sense for anything else to take this award home, and it definitely didn’t make sense for Anora to be the one to take it. I don’t dislike the editing in Anora — not at all, in fact. I actually think it’s one of the best edits of the year. We Oscar theorists were just not in a million years expecting Anora to triumph over Conclave in the category the former was most vulnerable in.

This upset changed the entire vibe of the ceremony. What was once a nail-biting duel between Anora and Conclave for Best Picture became, when the Dune dust settled, a love-fest for Anora with nothing standing in its way as it hustled its way to the top. These are the benefits of being a Best Picture frontrunner: you have the opportunity to win awards you wouldn’t ever have a chance to win if you weren’t one. At least you deserved it, Anora! Unlike a certain musical biopic that rhymes with Shmohemian Shmapsody…

Now if only Challengers were nominated for this…Oh well, at least it wasn’t shunned from any other categories that would have been a cakewalk for it to win, right?

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT SEAN BAKER OFF? Nope. For his second award of the night, I’m a little shocked that they allowed him to go for even longer than he did the first go-around.

Challengers being ousted from this category and having its win snatched by The Brutalist is crazy. Small, first-time music man defeats industry-adored scoring duo? What a world we live in.

Although The Brutalist’s score is my favorite of the year and abso-freaking-lutely deserving of this award, I can’t help but think that Challengers would have easily beat it had the latter been nominated at this Oscars. It was winning everything, everybody loved it, and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross have always been on fire in this category — same deal with Challengers being seriously snubbed for Editing as well. It doesn’t make sense to me as to why the Academy didn’t groove with that movie, because it is exactly what they were asking for.

Gotta love that big brass! I adore that movie’s prologue, man.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT DANIEL BLUMBERG OFF? Yupperoonie! Right at the end of his minute-long speech. Blumberg played off his abrupt booting hilariously, though, referencing what happened at the end of a spiel just one award prior that brought chills to my spine just being reminded of…

Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. 

This song sucks! This movie sucks! Everything sucks, and I hate it here! But hey, at least it’s the second-to-last time I am ever obligated to write about this freaking movie. Praise the Lord Almighty!

What’s hilarious to me is that Clément Ducol, one of the songwriters for Emilia Pérez, wrote three banger songs for Chicken for Linda, one of the greatest (and underrated) animated movies of the year, and then they got overlooked in favor of the terrible music she wrote for the former. Thanks, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, for your incredible intellect.

Sometimes the Academy can be wrong, kiddos, and that’s okay! Real Oscar aficionados know exactly what they got wrong and when, and “El Mal” winning Best Original Song is the latest addition to that ever-expanding list. Thankfully, there are only two awards given this year that fall into the “this is not right” category. Betcha can’t guess what the other one is! 

I’ll give you a hint: this movie won two Oscars, and it’s the second one.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT CLÉMENT DUCOL, CAMILLE AND JACUQES AUDIARD OFF? Yes, and in spectacular fashion. About a minute into their speech, where they were rambling as they were clearly running out of people to thank, Camille began to thank the movie’s titular character…in musical format. Belting “Emilia, Emilia, Emilia” in a strong falsetto of thanks, the orchestra immediately caught on and began playing very loudly in an attempt to get her off the stage. She remained, of course, while her husband and the quite literally speechless (as he had not gotten a word in yet) Audiard stood beside her softly mouthing the words she was flamboyantly singing. I still do not remember how long she was on the stage for until the producers finally dragged her off, but I am pretty confident that it was at least another 15 seconds after the orchestra started blasting.

Daniel Blumberg, recipient of the Oscar for The Brutalist’s score, called back to this moment at the end of his speech, singing his friends’ names as he walked off. See? Even The Brutalist’s team makes fun of Emilia Pérez! That’s how you know it’s good.

I mean… yeah. Sure, I wanted Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes to win and break the endless cycle of …Apes movies getting nominated for the VFX Oscar just to get beaten out by a movie that everybody and their mother loved that year, but this is just fine! I’ll say it’s deserved, but my ape movie will forever be the winner in my heart.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT PAUL LAMBERT, STEPHEN JAMES, RHYS SALCOMBE AND GERD NEFZER OFF? Yep! 40 seconds into the group’s round of speeches, they began playing the soft piano music to signal them to wrap the heck up. What sort of grudge does the Academy have against Denis Villeneuve for them to treat everything he does like this?

One of the most satisfying wins I’ve seen in recent years. Anora winning Original Screenplay is not only a testament to how great this movie is, but a statement from the Academy that they still appreciate movies that aren’t necessarily “big.” Like I said in the beginning, the Oscars do not care what people think, which is why it’s so cool that we get to see movies like Anora win big prizes like this on this worldwide stage, an honor which small movies of its kind would not normally get. 

“The People’s Oscars” would probably award Madame Web with a screenplay award just for the LOLs. Search your heart, you know it to be true.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT SEAN BAKER OFF? Nope. Even for his third award speech of the night, Sean’s speech was just as succinct and once again fell under the 1 minute mark. The dude’s a quick talker and somehow thanks everybody he wants to thank in an ungodly short amount of time, and I can respect him for that.

Another major upset in the Short category this year, but what else is new? I cannot comment on this because I have not seen it, but I’ve heard it was good. It must be, right? It won an Oscar, and the Academy is famously never wrong… except for twice this year.

Once again, I am confident that this won mainly since it is on Netflix. It is far easier for voters to access than any of the other shorts, so there is a much higher likelihood that they have seen it and voted for it because it is the only one they’ve seen. That could definitely also not be the case, but I’m just throwing stuff out there trying to find a good reason as to why I got three dang things wrong on my ballot this year, all ending in freaking “Short,” and a reason that isn’t just “Oh, you know that Academy! So unpredictable every year, aren’t they?”

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT MOLLY O’BRIEN AND LISA REMINGTON OFF? Yes, indeed! About a minute into O’Brien’s speech (which she didn’t seem to be handing off to Remington anytime soon) she was interrupted by the ol’ reliable playoff music and swiftly coerced offstage as the piano ever-increased in volume.

No comment. A very, very, very significant win.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT BASEL ADRA, RACHEL SZOR, HAMDAN BALLAL AND YUVAL ABRAHAM OFF? No. Thank God. Their speeches are too important to be cut short. Plus, I’m positive the Academy used their future vision to foresee the relentless backlash they’d receive if that freaking playoff piano slid into this major moment. 

This is up there with the previous award as the most important of the whole ceremony. Almost every single year that this category has been around there has always been one Best Picture nominee among a sea of four other non-Best Picture nominees. Of course, that is the one that always took the award home, because it was the only one that people cared about seeing because it was nominated for Best Picture! So basically, it’s safe to say that I always got this one right on my ballot.

But 2025 was a different story: we had two International Film nominees that were also up for Best Picture, which is an extremely rare occurrence at the Academy Awards. And with Emilia Pérez’s campaign slowly losing steam due to constant controversy, it seemed that the Brazilian underdog (by a very large margin) might finally be able to take its rightful place on the throne of International Feature Films. I’m Still Here had a chance, but it was an incredibly close photo-finish between the two films for the grand prize. I was even physically shaking as they announced who won, because I couldn’t deal with the fake Hispanic movie winning over the real one.

And, thankfully, the good movie got it. That being I’m Still Here, of course. The feeling of Emilia Pérez officially being shut out from a surprise Best Picture win was like no other.

I’m Still Here is so fantastic that I am still trying to muster words for it days after I saw it. Here’s my five-star review if you want to see my thoughts on it, but I genuinely cannot say anything that I haven’t already said before. Everybody should watch this movie ASAP because, just like No Other Land, it is very relevant and very important. Fernanda Torres is a legend beyond human comprehension.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT WALTER SALLES OFF? Yup, at approximately 45 seconds. Can’t let Brazil have their moment, can’t you, Academy?

Wicked was pegged to win two awards come Oscar night, and it’s clear to see why it won what it won and why it was stupid easy to predict: Those sets were super impressive, and these costumes on those characters on those sets were even more impressive. 

Paul Tazewell is such a genius, man, because he brings costumes from the stage to the screen in a way no other designer can do as accurately as he does. Just take a look at his work on Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story. It’s pretty darn great.

Did you know that he won an Emmy for his Costume Design skills on The Wiz Live? Probably explains why he’s so good at getting Ozian costumes right, because Wicked ain’t his first rodeo.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT PAUL TAZEWELL OFF? No, because they wouldn’t dare cut off the speech of the first Black man to win Best Costume Design. They’ll cut off the first Black woman’s, no problem, but imagine the horror if they’d have cut off the man’s!

The most predictable award of the night to anybody even slightly paying attention. Is there actually anybody out there throwing fits over this win? If so, please direct them to yours truly, so I can throw their complaints directly in the trash. Nobody disses The Substance’s makeup without reasoning beyond “it’s not my thing,” because that doesn’t fly here in Sane Person Land.

The photo I attached for this category isn’t even the most impressive showing of practical effects in this movie. Sure, Demi Moore in old lady makeup is cool and all, but the real cherry on top comes about thirty minutes before The Substance’s credits roll. I’m not showing a photo of that due to heavy Substance spoilers (to those who are curious and also don’t want to watch one of the greatest movies of the year [shame on thine houses], Google “Monstro Elisasue”), but just know that the ending is probably what won this movie that Oscar.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT PIERRE-OLIVER PERSIN, STÉPHANIE GUILLON AND MARILYNE SCARSELLI OFF? No, but their speech was incredibly short. Honestly, with the way things were going by this point in the ceremony, I wouldn’t be shocked if they were played off the moment the Oscar touched their fingertips.

What an upset by Flow! The fact that it didn’t win at the BAFTAs (British Oscars) was thought to really hinder its momentum, but it pressed on just enough to narrowly beat out The Wild Robot! I hope it’s happy, because I was getting ready to enjoy a two-win streak on my ballot in the beginning, but then the animated stuff started and I was bombarded with a shocking movie win, three short film losses, an impressive editing win and a partridge in a pear tree.

Yeah, I kinda wanted The Wild Robot to win, and I definitely wanted Memoir of a Snail to pull off the most impressive table-turn in Oscar history, but I can’t deny how truly impactful Flow is. While it didn’t resonate with me (at all, really), it certainly resonated with a whole lot of people. Independent films beating out big Hollywood blockbusters never gets any less satisfying, and that seems to be a key factor in this year’s awards distribution. I couldn’t be happier, to be quite honest with you.

They made this movie entirely in Blender. Blender. Ponder ‘bout that, because I sure did for far longer than I should have for a movie I didn’t like. At least it looks absolutely stunning.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT GINTS ZIBALODIS, MATĪSS KAŽA, RON DYENS AND GREGORY ZALCMAN OFF? Nope. Then again, this was the first award of the night. I think the orchestra got a little angrier the more the friggin’ Oscars cut into their collective 9 p.m. on-the-button bedtime.

Expected. He won every single award before this, so why would he have stopped at the SAGs (Screen Actors Guild)? Expected, entirely deserved, and now my Roy boy (to anybody who doesn’t get the Succession reference: go watch Succession) is one step closer to getting an EGOT, which is an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and a Tony. If he pulls off his upcoming role in Glengarry Glen Ross on Broadway this spring, then all he needs to do is sing his heart out on absolutely anything and he’s got it in the bag. A future legend, fo’sho!

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT KIERAN CULKIN OFF? Nope, because the audience was laughing far too much at his speech for them to even dream of ending it. And also it was the first award of the night, so the orchestra didn’t get a chance to realize just how long the speeches would feel. If only they knew that both the worst speech and the longest speech were yet to come…

This is that other “this is not right” award I was talking about earlier! See how it all just comes full circle like that? Now you feel smart for remembering that I was talking about that the last time I brought up Emilia Pérez! Journalism tips and tricks, fellas.

Zoe Saldaña may be the best performer in Emilia Pérez, but that does not in any way, shape or form signify that she is good. Being the least bad may make you the best of the bunch, but you still are the best of the worst, which isn’t exactly good. I’m taking this as a win for her performance in Avatar, which is so much better and so much more worthy of an Oscar than whatever the heck she’s doing in Emilia Pérez is.

At least this didn’t come as a shock to me, though, because the signs she was going to win this award were all there leading up to the ceremony. And also, they came to me in a nightmare about six weeks before the Oscars. 

(That last bit is not a joke, because she literally won the Golden Globe the next day. I know! I was freaked out, too!)

The perfect way for Saldaña to end the infamous run of the Film that Shall No Longer be Named (After One More Time Mentioning It After This) happened moments after she obtained her statuette, in which she had the following exchange with a reporter backstage:

REPORTER: “What would you say about the heart of this movie, but also about the topic [that] is really hurtful to us. Mexicans.”

SALDAÑA: “First of all, I’m very, very sorry that you and so many Mexicans felt offended… I don’t share your opinion. For me, the heart of this movie was not Mexico, we were making a film about four women.”

First of all: that’s not true, because the movie is entirely about issues within Mexico and the Mexican people. Clearly, somebody didn’t watch the movie, and I know for dang sure it isn’t me because I. Watched. That. Movie.

And, of course, in classic Emilia Pérez cast member apology fashion: they’re sorry that you were offended, not that what they did was so offensive. What a way to tie a neat little bow on a colossal trainwreck: by not getting anywhere.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT ZOE SALDAÑA OFF? No, but God, I wish they did. I hope to see her on stage again, but for Avatar: Fire and Ash next time around. Let’s leave this movie behind, now, shall we?

Club Chalamet stays mad! Adrien Brody is fantastic in The Brutalist and I will not stand for anybody saying he isn’t. Just judging him by the first ten minutes, you can tell instantly that this is an Oscar-winning performance you are watching. Sobbing, laughing, somberness, togetherness and warmth. It’s all there in the prologue, and you’ve still got three hours and twenty minutes of Brody ahead of you. Good luck, soldier.

Brody’s László Tóth is by far my favorite transformation of the year and I am so happy he got recognized for it. Timothée Chalamet will have his time in the sun soon, don’t you worry.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT ADRIEN BRODY OFF? Oh boy, did they ever. They had to cut him off twice, which I’m not sure any other Oscar winner has ever prompted the Oscar-chestra to do. Brody’s trademark is long speeches, which is why Kieran Culkin jokingly called him out at SAG and also why Brody, the moment he got up on stage, said “They’re already counting me down.” It’s because they were actually counting him down.

On Sunday, Adrien Brody set a new record for the longest Oscar acceptance speech of all time (no, I am not exaggerating) at five minutes and 36 seconds. At least the orchestra was justified on this one, because Brody literally, at the three minute mark, says after listing a slew of names already, “And who else?” And proceeds to thank even more people as The Brutalist’s score subtly fades in from the background.

But then, when it seems like he’s finally going to get shoved offstage, the man silences the orchestra again after doing it during his first speech back in 2003! Brody says that he’s wrapping up, “this is not my first rodeo,” says more stuff for another minute and a half, and then finally leaves the stage. I’d say that he’s disrespectful and a time-waster, but man, he’s just so charming — and the fact that the orchestra shut up simply because he waved his hand for them to do so is putting me in hysterics.

At least it was a pretty solid speech, because I couldn’t handle one that long for, say Best Original Song this year. God, what would that even look like? A sung speech for six minutes? Suffering.

After that ever-shocking editing win, it was inevitable that Baker would take this award home with him along with three others (including the one coming up. Sorry, spoilers!). It just made sense — especially after he won the Director’s Guild Award just a couple weeks prior, which put him first in line to collect his trophy. Nice to see this legend get recognized four times in one ceremony, because his speeches don’t waste my time nor do they make me want to hurl something at my TV. Once again, I am looking at you, “El Mal.”

I’m not upset, no, because I know that Brady Corbet (The Brutalist) will get his flowers some other time soon. Corbet and Baker are still such young and visionary faces on the directing scene, and I can’t wait to see what they each make next. The Brutalist 2, perhaps? Maybe we should call it The Twotalist…

…that was really bad. Ba-bing.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT SEAN BAKER OFF? No! I believe that they were too scared to do so. Seeing the same friggin’ guy accept three different awards in one ceremony would intimidate me too, man! His speeches were too short to even warrant a cutting-off, anyway.

I loved what he said about watching movies in theaters, because going out for movies really is as important as he says. It’s not just going to AMC for a fun night out on the town, it’s supporting cinema as a medium, which is just as significant as the experience is. Watch movies in movie theaters.

The Best Actress race at the Academy Awards is always as close as close can get. Almost every year somebody wins this award by the skin of their teeth, and with every season it only gets harder to predict. After we Oscar analysts had (sadly) knocked out Cynthia Erivo and (not sadly) Karla Sofía Gascón, the final three candidates were Fernanda Torres, Demi Moore and Mikey Madison. Quite a trio, if you ask me, and any one of them would be deserving of the award.

I held fast to underdog Torres’s I’m Still Here until the very end, because I felt that the film’s surprise Best Picture nomination signified that something bigger was bubbling beneath the Academy’s surface. That, of course, ended up not being the case, and I would have been safer voting for the lead actress in the projected Best Picture winner. In hindsight, Madison probably was the better vote and I should have gone with her on my ballot. Good grief.

Demi Moore was quite a threat here! Or… so everybody else thought. Everybody was freaking about her “narrative” and that it’s “her time,” but I didn’t believe that for a second. The Oscars stopped caring about “overdue” actresses years ago, and now the Academy just votes for whoever they think is the most incredible that year. Diane Warren would have won an Original Song Oscar by now if that “overdue” thing was the case, yet she is still sitting at 16 nominations with a grand total of zero wins. One of these years, Warren. One of these years.

Mikey Madison is a fantastic winner for Best Actress. Even though I thought Fernanda Torres’s performance in I’m Still Here is undeniably the greatest of the year, I am not at all salty about Madison winning in the end. She does play the titular character with so much charm, emotion and sass that her mere presence is simply captivating whenever she’s doing literally anything. I love her a lot, and I’m glad performances like this one can still get noticed at the Academy Awards.

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT MIKEY MADISON OFF? Nope! We were instead blessed with a very honest and earnest Mikey Madison speech without any interruptions from the peanut gallery. Sweet.

Those orchestra cutoffs were especially inconsistent this ceremony, and I don’t think that’s ever going to change! I just hope to one day understand the criteria of the “cutting off,” because it can range from about 40 seconds to “Okay, this guy’s pushing an hour, let’s slowly fade in the piano…”

Yeah, this seems right. Anora is a fantastic movie that deserves every smidgen of praise and accolades that it’s gotten. I rarely get to see a movie’s awards campaign unfold in front of my very eyes, and watching Anora go from underappreciated underdog to Oscar frontrunner in the blink of an eye was marvelous. Watch movies early, guys, because then they almost feel related to you once you sit with them during awards season long enough. Be like a hipster: you liked it before it was cool, eh?

DID THE ORCHESTRA CUT ALEX COCO, SAMANTHA QUAN AND SEAN BAKER OFF? No, they did not. Every single one of Sean Baker’s speeches was amazing and each one brought up a very valid point about the industry. Go watch all of them, because they are all awesome!

A very respectful end to a fantastic night. 

In the wake of Oppenheimer’s massive win last year, many people may be quick to call this Anora dub bland and uninteresting, but that could not be farther from the truth. What we forget is that Anora is not Oppenheimer. Like I mentioned earlier, the Academy doesn’t care what the people think, because their say is the final say. And I believe that Anora’s win further proves to us that even if the public isn’t necessarily ga-ga over something, it will get votes regardless. 

The Oscars have never been for the public — they’ve been for artists, the people who care the most about making the best art they can will themselves to make. Of course, it has crowd-pleasing bits and all, but at the end of the day it is a celebration of art. Not an admission of popularity nor a self-indulgent speech-fest, but a look back at the art of the previous year to see what pieces the artists deem the best. 

It’s a subjective biz that sometimes gets stuff wrong, of course, but even I can’t deny that the stuff they do get right sometimes makes me tear up a bit. Creativity isn’t dead, because it can always be found somewhere at the Academy Awards. Never doubt humanity, especially when it comes to new and unique ideas.

Anybody who hasn’t seen Anora is not allowed to comment on whether this Best Picture win was good or bad or even just plain “mid.” In fact: watch all of these movies I mentioned during this article (except the Movie that Shall No Longer Be Named), form your own opinion and discover a love for cinema in the same way now-four-time Oscar winner Sean Baker did. Life’s no fun when someone discovers all of the new movie stuff for you, so why don’t you go out there and blaze some new cinematic trails for yourself? Go see a movie!

Anyway, I will hopefully see you all for the 98th Academy Awards, in which The Minecraft Movie will sweep all 24 categories. Get hyped!