The Rihanna concert was on point last night, I have to say. 

But why exactly were there so many sports ball bros there? I was here for all of them wearing red and supporting my queen Rihanna, but what was with the teal? The giant yellow prop on either end of the stage? And the absurdly long opener with the throwing and the cheering and the balls. Baffling … 

Yet, in between the performances, money-makers (literally!) prevailed: the commercials. With commercials I could create on Google Slides in 12-seconds flat, nostalgia flops or, worst of all, whatever-the-hell-that-thing-was created by furry-enthusiasts, there were a few (namely, 10) that stood out as the frontrunners of the Super Bowl LVII lineup. 

10. Dunkin’ Donut Commercial

Vibe: A day in the life video of That One Coworker (you know the one … you can’t stand ‘em) 

Picture this: a quiet winter afternoon, and you are sitting in one of those plastic-y, horrendously orange and pink chairs inside of a Dunkin’ Donuts. The smell of stale coffee and fried donuts permeates the air as you gaze (or should I say glaze) out the window, watching the drive-thru patrons for the sole purpose of making up elaborate life stories for each of them.

Yeah. It’s that, but from the perspective of Ben Affleck  … bad Bostonian accent and all. And you know what? I’m strangely here for it. He rambles on about Dunkin’ as a wide assortment of characters meander through: taking selfies, waving $5 bills around or, in the case of JLo, ordering a glazed donut.

It’s ridiculous, it has the potential to be even funnier, but it’s memorable, that much is for sure. All I know is that America runs on Dunkin’, and this commercial won’t stop running through my mind.

9. Whichever one the guy from the iconic beach scene in “Top Gun: Maverick” was in

Vibe: The “Jeopardy” theme song

Starting off on a #relatable note, this ad spot kicks off with Miles Teller and his wife, Keleigh, on hold with some unknown person on the other line of the phone. As they wait for the Undisclosed Person to answer, they begin dancing around. First, it’s tame — the awkwardness is akin to playing Just Dance with your situationship date for the first time — but eventually, as all good dancing does, it falls into a groove, becoming more elaborate and in-sync. 

It’s cute — “not awful,” as I so eloquently jotted down in my notes — and the comedic timing of the hold music to pause with commentary (“Are you still there?” Or “Your wait time is *insert absurdly large number*”) was funny enough to make you forget it was an advertisement to begin with. Besides, I couldn’t even tell(er) you it was a Bud Light commercial; all I remembered was a phone, Miles Teller and some dancing, which is, decidedly, not a bad thing. 

8. YouTubeTV announces NFL Sunday Ticket partnership

Vibe: Your third grade teacher who still thinks “hang in there” cat posters are funny

The cat’s out of the bag: YouTubeTV is partnering with NFL Sunday Tickets. With the same energy as the Vines that your weird cat-obsessed cousin shows you at awkward family dinners, this commercial was straight-up weird. The intense music paired with a cat that I’m pretty sure is taxidermied has to be the sort of thing an intern dreamt up while having some intense hallucinations from eating the sus brownies left in the refrigerator. But he’s got the meow-sic in him. Pop-off, I guess.  

7. Jeep

Vibe: Zoboomafoo if he was on “Dance Moms” 

The saddest realization I came to during the Super Bowl is not that I, unfortunately, understand way more football than the average sports ball-hater should. Rather, I came to the horrifying conclusion that these fake animals, in a Jeep commercial no less, have more groove than I do. Toss in lemurs, a winking sloth and some giraffes that nail their head-bobbing game, and you’ve got yourself a fun commercial that isn’t afraid to be in a silly goofy mood. 

6. “Run with it” 

Vibe: Kachow!

Flag football MVP Diana Flores is being interviewed in a run-of-the-mill post-game interview when, suddenly, the reporter reaches out to grab her flags. In the same way that you shouldn’t touch my secret stash of Milkyways, you shouldn’t touch Flores’ flags. 

She bolts. 

Soon enough, everyone — and their mom — is chasing after Flores to no avail. There’s witty commentary, enough parkour to make an American Ninja Warrior-enthusiasts proud and jukes for dayyyys. When it comes (touch) down to it, “Run with it” is fun and speedy enough that the two-minute run time goes by in a flash. 

5. Amazon 

Vibe: Woof … feelings

As a negatively-inclined Grinch, bona fide Ebenezer Scrooge and hater to all, I can admit I might have felt a twinge of the trademark, “awww” that seemingly comes with dog commercials. Not that I’d admit that out loud. 

However, I’m just saying that, hypothetically, if there was Amazon commercial that had #wholesome storytelling and a dog that didn’t die …  Maybe, there is like a half-of-a-skosh chance that I enjoyed it. 

4. Squarespace

Vibe: When your computer freezes and accidentally spits out a million copies

In the spirit of four-sided entities, I have four questions: Why is there an army of Kylo Rens? What, exactly, occurred? What even is Squarespace? And, most of all, why is it sticking in my mind as one of the most memorable commercials?

3.Kia

Vibe: Male incompetence at its finest 

When life gives you a dose of bad luck (ie, you forget your kid’s binky at home), the only solution is to wreak havoc and stunt-drive around town. While you shouldn’t try this at home, you have to admit that the intensity of driving down the road, over the bend, into the woods, down a snow bank, over a football field and to Mars for a binky is kinda a baller move. 

Not only is intense speed racing the perfect juxtaposition for the mundane task of forgetting an everyday object at home, but it somehow manages to be both heartwarming and endearing … in a car commercial. #BinkyDad4Lifezzzz

2. Google Pixel 7

Vibe: The Photoshop queen we wish we all could be

We all have those moments we wish we could forget: maybe it’s a horrific math test, slipping and falling in the hallways on a particularly rainy freshman year or the Eagle’s devastating loss at the Super Bowl. 

Google Pixel, however, reminds us how easy it is to forget with their new photo technology. In an upbeat montage of photographs and funny situations (bye-bye exes), the Pixel makes sure that viewers won’t be able to erase this clever commercial from their minds. 

1. M&M’s

Vibe: Bad reality TV that you are far too invested in (think: the new Kardashians) 

My favorite phrase in all of human-existence is, “Ella, you were right. And a genius. And an all-knowing god who will one day rule the world.” 

Well, you get the gist. 

And it’s true: I was right. When M&M’s announced that their spokescandies were taking a break to pursue other career paths, I didn’t believe it for a second. Apparently, Green partnered with a shoe company (ha! fitting!), Blue became a sportscaster and Orange entered the realm of meditation. But it was a sham. A ruse. An illusion! 

Oh, M&M’s. This is what we’ve been waiting for. Mars’ is not the spineless cowards people thought them to be when they bowed down to the political right’s love of sexy chocolates; no, the spokescandies are vibing and thriving as they once were. 

This three part Super Bowl saga first consisted of a song (it was oh-so upbeat) featuring Maya Rudolph fully committing to the bit as she sings about bite-sized candies filled with clams. Ma-Ya’s are advertised as all the ex-spokescandy garb is torn down and banished into the abyss. 

Then, during the second half of the game, a five-second ad pops up: M&M’s are back.

We are anxiously kept in suspense until after the game, when the spokescandies are back announcing, well, the fact that they are back. After weeks of my M&M’s drama-obsessed self’s ponderings, this victory, and the answers that came with it, was far sweeter than the Chief’s win. This was my Super Bowl: the M&M’s saga coming to a close.