Wacky News

By Kiley Walsh
Opinion Editor
The Story: A recent flood in New South Wales was the most rain hit in 38 years. While people have evacuated in Griffith, a town of about 25,000 people, and in Forbes, a town of 7,000 people, a new type of species have come to like all the rain: wolf spiders.
The wolf spiders are trying to hide from the water by covering residents’ trees and yards in webs as the try “ballooning,” a typical behavior for spiders forced to escape rising waters.
The residents should not worry too much because as the waters begin receding, the locals should return to their homes, and the wolf spiders will return to their natural underground habitats.
Also, the spiders feast on mosquitoes and other insects brought from the tremendous amount of water, which will give the residents a much more comfortable living area.
My Take: I’m sorry, ew. 
I don’t care how much they would “help” my town with their obsession of eating mosquitoes, I could not go back and live in a place that had just been infested with billions of spiders. I don’t even think I could continue living in Australia.
“If you stood under one of these trees, dozens of small, very, very tiny spiders would just be dropping onto your head,” said Russel Watkins, U.K. Department for International Development.
Spiders are creepy and horrifying to look at when they’re hidden in a corner deep inside your basement, not to mention when they’re falling on your head.
Spiders. On. Your. Head.
Romantic picnics under your favorite apple tree right outside the park? Sorry, it’s not raining, those are spiders!
Also, the bite of a wolf spider is poisonous. An adult is ½ inch to more than 1 inch in body length and has a gray to brown color.
Although usually non-aggressive, they bite freely is felt endangered by humans. So pardon me, wolf spider, I just need to live in my house.
All I can say is good luck to anyone who lives, once lived, or has planned to live in New South Wales at any point in their life.
And I will happily say that from the comfort of my own home – 1,000 miles away from New South Wales and wolf spider free.