Girls' Guild: Keeping it classy

By Maddy Moloney
Associate Editor-In-Chief|
Occasionally in between homework and eating I like to sit down with the fam to tune into some bad reality TV. This week I was lucky enough to catch the X-factor, however compared to past weeks something major had change. No it wasn’t the host or the location, no Cee Lo Green’s arm didn’t grow to a normal length and Adam Levine was just as cocky as ever. But instead the ‘starlet’ of the show Christina Aguliera, had tucked her famously untucked  bosom in her shirt! I was floored.  So in honor of Xtina showing some class instead of -erm boob, Here are 6 tips to keep it classy.
1. The second you think about using disney villains as your inspiration for your makeup you’ve made it into the trashy girl pile. See there are two types of girls, those who are classy and those who are trashy. Those who are classy follow the rule of one, meaning that you can have one bold feature, either eyes, cheeks or lips. The cornrowed perm isn’t helping X-tinas cause either.

2. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m totally in support of the green movement, “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle”, however Reducing your skirt, Reusing your scarf as a shirt and recycling the milkmans hat makes for a pretty trashy, rather than grassy connotation.
3. Pink and purple eyeshadow, nuff said.

4. I think this is her cornrowed rapunzel look, however something just screams at me ferbie prostitute.

5. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.
What do you get when you spray yourself orange?
Painting yourself the color of a Dorrito.
What are you trying to get, a role on jersey shore?
What do you think will come of that?
I don’t like the look of it
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,
Looking like a normal person you will go far.
You will live in happiness too,
Like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.

6. Any combination of a fairy pirate hooker is doing to drive you straight to hoe-town. I’ve seen toddlers in tiaras classier than this.