Wacky News

By Ellen Siefke
Features Editor|
The Story: The citizens of the Ecuadorean city Guayaquil, failing to find a fit human candidate, decided to nominate a donkey for election to the National Assembly. At least 40 people paraded their candidate through the city’s streets to the electoral council offices, and Mr. Burro even wore a tie.

Unfortunately, no jackasses will be running for legislature anytime soon. Officials refused let the donkey and fans enter even though the supporters had dummied up a mock voter registration card showing the candidate’s photo superimposed on a man wearing a business suit.

Donkey backer Daniel Molina told local television stations the goal was to call voters’ attention to the seriousness of the February election, not to insult any party.

My take: Wow, these people either have some serious guts or some serious intelligence issues.
Let’s think carefully about this situation. First, take note that these people actually came up with the idea to let a donkey run for office. Who thinks of that?! Seriously, who wakes up in the morning and says, “You know what? I think we need a jackass in the government!” That requires just a little creativity.
Think of it this way. Let’s pretend that some random biology class decided to nominate a class pet, say an adorable little guinea pig, for student council president. Pretty crazy, right? Then again, the biology classes are freshman, and who knows what goes on inside their minds.
Back to the real thing. Now comes the problem of actually finding a suitable donkey. Did the guy just magically know his neighbor’s son’s prized donkey was the one fit for the job? I’m genuinely curious.
It’s like, how did the freshman know their little fluffball could handle such an important responsibility? I mean, this guinea pig could potentially plan homecoming. Imagine that: PHS Homecoming 2013: Celebrate the Rodents! (speaking of which, Kyle Brown wrote a great article about the mouse problem in the school. Read it!)
Third, consider that people took the time to parade and support their beloved creature. Personally, if I heard that a donkey was running for the senate here in Illinois, I would not support him; however, Ecuadorians can do as they please. I promise that I won’t judge.
Again with our hypothetical guinea pig, I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue as the students enthusiastically paraded the candidate through the halls, handing out flyers and chanting.
Finally, I am impressed by all the measures supporters took to make their cause as valid as possible. To take the time to create a fake registration card complete with photoshopped images is admirable, considering the cause was doomed. Perhaps our freshman could bribe our brilliant photograph to use some Photoshop magic and create one for our fine furballed friend.
Just think, maybe for the next election, we can take a lesson or two from these people. Not that I’m suggesting anything…